The newsgroup rec.humor.jewish had a Valentine's day spoof - forget the roses, send a dozen charosets. It was meant in jest, but the recipes actually seem quite good. Some of these recipes are cribbed from cookbooks - which made me a bit anxious about archiving them... but I figured they were already distributed on the newsgroup without complaint. However, if one of your recipes appears below and you do not wish it to be published on my archive, please do not hesitate to email me and I will remove it promptly.

I have copied the entire post from rec.humor.jewish below, merely adding in HTML formatting for the purpose of readability.


Subject: NFJJ: Something Special for Valentine's Day
Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2000 14:04:43 EST
From: The Old Bear oldbear@arctos.com
Newsgroups: rec.humor.jewish

Planning to send your true love a dozen roses for Valentines Day but unsure whether the gesture will be seen as extravagant and trite?

Well, this year forget the dozen roses. Give your sweetie something different, something sweet, and something which will prove useful in only a few short weeks.

That's right, this year send.... A DOZEN HAROSETS....

1. BASIC HAROSET

8-10 large apples
10-12 ozs. chopped pecans, almonds and/or walnuts
1 1/2 cup sweet wine
1 tbsp. cinnamon
4 tbsp. sugar, or to taste

Peel, core and coarsely chop apples. Add nuts, wine, cinnamon and sugar. If sweeter taste is desired, add additional sugar.

Source: The Cookbook for All Seasons
Sisterhood of Temple Emanuel of Houston, Texas

-------------------------------------------------------------------

2. YEMENITE HAROSET

1/2 lb. pitted dates
1/4 lb. raisins
4 dried figs
1 1/2 c. Sweet wine
1/4 lb. walnuts
1/4 lb. almonds
2 Tbsp. Sesame seeds
1/2 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cardomom

Place fruits in food processor or blender. Finely chop. Add 1/2 cup of the wine. Mix again, at low speed. Add remaining ingredients and mix at low speed until nearly smooth. Refrigerate.

Yield: 8 servings
Source: Peninsula Daily News, 3/31/93

-------------------------------------------------------------------

3. DESSERT HAROSET FROM ERETZ YISROEL

2 chopped apples
6 mashed bananas
1 juiced and grated lemon
1 juiced and grated orange
1-1/4 cup chopped dates
4 teaspoons chopped candied orange peel
Nuts
1 cup red wine
Matzah meal
2 teaspoons cinnamon
Sugar

Blend the fruits and nuts. Add wine. Add as much matzah meal as the mixture will take and still remain soft. Add cinnamon and sugar to taste. Mix well and chill before serving.

Source: Shayla (bkosky@kosky.com)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

4. SYRIAN HAROSET

10 large pitted dates
1/2 cup golden raisins
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 orange, zest and juice
1/2 cup sweet Passover wine
1 cup chopped walnuts

Makes about 1 cup.

Combine all the ingredients except the nuts in a saucepan and heat until the dates absorb the liquid and begin to get mushy, about 5 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and mix in nuts. Let cool for several hours to absorb liquid and ripen flavor. Mash with a fork until the mixture resembles a thick paste. Spread on matzoh and enjoy.

Yield: 1 cup
Source: Washington Post Food Section, Wednesday, April 8, 1998.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

5. PERSIAN HAROSET

25 dates, pitted and diced
1/2 c unsalted pistachios
1/2 c almonds
1/2 c golden raisins
1 1/2 peeled apples, cored and diced
1 pomegranates
1 orange, peeled and diced
1 banana, sliced
1/2 c sweet red wine, to 1 cup
1/4 c cider vinegar
1/2 tbsp cayenne
1 tbsp ground cloves
1 tbsp ground cardamom
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp black pepper

Combine all the fruits and nuts. Add the wine and vinegar until a pasty consistency is achieved. Add the spices and blend well. Adjust seasonings.

Yield: 5 cups
Source: Mohtaran Shirazi via The Jewish Holday Kitchen, Joan Nathan 1988

-------------------------------------------------------------------

6. SEVEN-FRUIT HAROSET FROM SURINAM

8 oz unsweetened coconut
8 oz chopped walnuts or:
8 oz grated almonds
1/4 c sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon
8 oz raisins
8 oz dried apples
8 oz dried prunes
8 oz dried apricots
8 oz dried pears
4 oz cherry jam
sweet red wine

Combine everything except the jam and wine in a pot. Cover with water and simmer over low heat. Periodically, add small amounts of water to prevent sticking. Cook at least 90 minutes. When it is cohe sive, stir in the jam and let stand until cool. Add enough sweet wine to be absorbed by the haroset and chill.

Yield: 5 cups
Source: "The Jewish Holday Kitchen" by Joan Nathan 1988

-------------------------------------------------------------------

7. SEPHARDIC HAROSET

1/2 cup grated coconut
1/2 cup ground walnuts
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 cup raisins
1 cup dried apricots
1/2 cup prunes
1/2 cup dried pears
12 ounce jar cherry preserves
1/3 cup Malaga wine

Mix coconut, walnuts, sugar and cinnamon. Chop the dried fruits. Combine the two mixes and place in a pot, cover with water. Simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon, for approximately 1 hour. When the mixture begins to thicken and come together, stir in the cherry preserves. Remove from heat; add the wine and let cool.

Source: Something Different for Passover by Zell Schulman

-------------------------------------------------------------------

8. LARRY BAIN'S BUBIE'S HAROSET

1/2 lb walnuts
1/4 lb dried apricots
1/4 lb dried prunes, without pits
3 peeled apples, cored and quartered
1 lg navel oranges, with skin, quartered
1/2 c sweet wine
2 tbsp brandy
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1 tbsp lime juice
2 tbsp matzo meal, or as needed

Using the steel blade of a food processor, chop very fine, but not to a paste, the walnuts, apricots, prunes, dates, apples and orange. Add the wine, brandy, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and lime juice. If needed, add enough matzo meal to make a mortar-like consistency.

Yield: 6 cups
Source: Larry Bain via The Jewish Holday Kitchen, Joan Nathan 1988

-------------------------------------------------------------------

9. VENETIAN CHAROSET

1+1/2 cups chestnut paste
1/2 cup pine nuts
10 ounces dates, chopped
Grated rind of one orange
12 ounces figs, chopped
1/2 cup white raisins
2 Tbs poppy seeds
1/4 cup dried apricots
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup brandy
1/2 cup chopped almonds
honey to bind

Combine all ingredients, gradually adding just enough brandy and honey to make the mixture bind. Other Italian Haroset recipes include mashed up bananas, apples, hard-boiled eggs, crushed matzah, pears, and lemon.

Source: Maxine Wolfson (MLW@MATH.AMS.ORG)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

10. ASHKENAZIC APPLE-NUT HAROSET

6 peeled apples, coarsely chopped
2/3 c chopped almonds
3 tbsp sugar, or to taste
1/2 tsp cinnamon
grated rind of 1 lemon
4 tbsp sweet red wine

Combine all, mixing thoroughly. Add wine as need. Blend to desired texture- some like it coarse and crunchy, others prefer it ground to a paste. Chill.

Yield: Makes 3 cups.
Source: "The Jewish Holday Kitchen" by Joan Nathan 1988

-------------------------------------------------------------------

11. PROCESSOR SEPHARDIC HAROSET

1/2 cup grated coconut
1/2 cup ground walnuts
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 cup raisins
1 cup dried apricots
1/2 cup dried apples
1/2 cup dried prunes
1/2 cup dried pears
12 oz. jar cherry preserves
1/2 cup Malaga wine

Processor method: 1. Insert metal blade. Combine coconut, walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon with 2 0r 3 pulses. Add diced fruits and chop with 3 or 4 pulses, until mixture is in medium sized pieces.

2. Place in a 4-quart pot, adding water to cover. Simmer uncovered, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon, for approximately one hour. When mixture begins to thicken and come together, stir in cherry preserves. Remove from heat, ass wine and let cool.

Conventional method: 1. Mix coconut, walnuts, sugar, and cinnamon together. Chop dried fruit with a grinder or in a chopping bowl. Proceed to step 2 above.

Yield: about 3 cups
Source: Soumething Different for Passover
by Zell J. Schuman (Triad Publishing, 1985)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

12. CALIFORNIA HAROSET

1 large avocado, peeled and diced
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/3 cup raisins
4 seedless dates
2 figs or prunes
1 whole orange, peel and sections
2 tbsp. apple juice
2 tbsp. matzo meal

Toss the avocado and lemon juice in a bowl. Set aside. In a processor or blender, place the almonds, raisins, dates, and figs. Process until coarsely shopped. Add the orange peel and orange sections and process briefly to combine. Add the avocado and process just 1 or 2 seconds more. Transfer the mixture to a glass bowl and gently fold in the apple juice and the matzo meal. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in the refigerator.

Yield: 3 cups
Source: The Gourmet Jewish Cook by Judy Zeidler (William Morrow & co., 1988)

Back to the main Jewish Cuisine Forum archive page.